Now they traveled in silence. For all the talk that had gone on between them, Cotton Colinaude and Balthazar Romero appeared to have nothing left to say. Cotton, of course, still felt he did, but he knew that Balthazar was not ready for it. He was beginning to realize what kind of life he'd lived, and he didn't like it. So they continued, on foot, through Traverse, not sure where they were going, but rather intent and content to simply go, because that was what one did in Traverse.
The sun was pounding again. They had passed the night in a motel, with only one bed. There was no restlessness to keep them awake. Cotton turned on the television set and ignored the static, because he did not really intend to watch. It was one of those perfunctory actions, going through the motions because there was little will for anything else. The life had been sucked out from both of them, not just Balthazar. Cotton awoke to more static, and didn't give any thought as he got up and shut the set off again. They paid their bill and continued their journey to nowhere. The desk clerk seemed to think Cotton had paid too much, but he shrugged it off. Money was not a concern.
But it soon would be. Balthazar wanted to withdraw some funds to finance this sojourn of theirs, but when he tried to, the ATM told him that there was nothing in his account. That was ridiculous. Of course there was. He was fiscally responsible, for one thing, and should have had plenty even if he weren't. A whole lifetime had ensured that, both Boy Benjamin and his own initiative. They made their way to Humbert Savings, which was at least an hour away. Neither man held any dismay over this fact, but Balthazar still held court with nervous chatter, which seemed to indicate otherwise. If Cotton hadn't known him, he would have assumed what seemed obvious.
"No funds," Balthazar said. "What a funny thing for a machine to say. You'd think it would be more helpful. Why can't it just tell me why? I mean, I know the obvious reason, but why can't it tell me how it got that way? It's ridiculous. You'd think they'd be able to do that, right? You'd think that someone would try and improve the model. But then it would be like one of those sci-fi movies. No one predicts good things in those movies. The machines always go haywire. You have to wonder. Is it an underlying pessimism, or underestimation? Do people really think there's a technological glass ceiling, one we're really that close to? We're about as far as we can go, and any further is only going to create problems, rather than solve them? It's a terrible thought. Shouldn't the future be about optimism? Then again, what is drama but nihilism, the theory that any subject worth talking about or seeing is directly related to chaos, destruction...death? All the happy moments are sap, right? Who feels good watching that sort of thing, if it's not computer animated? We're told we shouldn't, that we're somehow underdeveloped if we can. But all that leaves is the pessimism. Anything else in between isn't sold as worthwhile. It can't be dramatic enough or funny enough or poignant enough. It's got to be obvious. Well, ATMs should obviously be more useful."
"You can think deeply, then," Cotton said.
"Shuttup," Balthazar said. "I mean, seriously, when did nuance go out the window? When it was perceived as taking itself too seriously? I'm tired of people pretending they stand for it, too. Pretending does no good for no one. Of course, I guess I was a great pretender myself."
"You at least realized it," Cotton said.
"Not until I had it pointed out to me," Balthazar said. "It's too late. I'm dead. I don't even know why I need money anymore."
"You didn't need someone to point it out to you," Cotton said. "You knew already. You just had to accept it. And it's never too late. There's still a point to everything. You're still here, aren't you?"
"Improbably," Balthazar said. "Inexplicably, sure. I can't explain it."
"You don't need to try," Cotton said. "You're here and that's what matters. Go with that."
"Oh, I'm going, all right," Balthazar said. "Delphi has a lot of explaining to do."
"I'm sorry," Cotton said. "Who?"
"Delphi," Balthazar said. "Amelia Delphi; she's an underground connection, works at Humbert, two jobs."
"I know who she is," Cotton said. "Who she was. She used to run with the late Calypso, in Calypso's worse days. I think I know why you've lost your money."
"It might still be a mistake," Balthazar said. "It might still turn out to be a computer glitch."
"Keep telling yourself that," Cotton said. "I'm telling you, Delphi is bad news."
"I worked with her for years, never had a problem," Balthazar said.
"Says the man whose pet lion finally took a swat at him," Cotton said. "Lost his face. That's all."
"You're making me more nervous," Balthazar said.
"No, I'm motivating you," Cotton said. "You've now got to decide how you're going to handle this."
"What are you talking about?" Balthazar said. "I've got my gameplan already. I'm going to walk in there and have a little chat with my friend."
"That's usually your cue to violence," Cotton noted. "You need to think this through. If you're wrong, and I'm right, you're walking into a trap. It doesn't matter what kind of trap, but you know. Don't walk into their hands."
"I'm already dead," Balthazar said. "What else can they do?"
"They can hurt me," Cotton said. "They can hurt Ashlee."
"My god," Balthazar said. "What if they already have? I have no other choice."
"You have every choice," Cotton said. "You don't have to go to Humbert Savings. You do not have to check on your account."
"I have no choices," Balthazar said. "I have been targeted. If I've been targeted, so has my wife. I have to go to Humbert."
"Go home," Cotton said.
"I can't," Balthazar said. "I can't start there. If what you say about Delphi is true, I have to find out for myself. But it can't be. It can't. I trust her."
"Trust is a terrible thing," Cotton said. "It misleads you."
"I can't believe you," Balthazar said. "How can you say that? How can you tell me that I can't trust anything?"
"I can tell you because nothing is absolute," Cotton said. "I've already tried to explain that to you. Everything changes. If I am right about Delphi, how many more examples do you need?"
"If you're right about Delphi," Balthazar said, "you will only have proven an exception to a rule. That's all there is, Cotton. I can't believe you. I have to go to Humbert."
"It's too dangerous," Cotton said.
"There's danger everywhere," Balthazar said. "There's treasure everywhere, and there's danger to every treasure. Why would you tell me that I can't accept that danger?"
"I try to caution you," Cotton said. "There needs to be caution in every decision you make. You need to think about every action."
"Thinking about Delphi won't prove whether or not she's what you say she is," Balthazar said.
"And finding out won't tell you about Ashlee," Cotton said.
"Don't you speak her name," Balthazar said. "You don't know her. You think you know me, and maybe you do, but you don't know Ashlee. Don't pretend like you do. I have only so much patience for you."
"Because you have only so much patience for yourself," Cotton said.
"I've had enough of that," Balthazar said.
"No you haven't," Cotton said.
"Don't tell me what I need!" Balthazar shouted.
"You won't even consider it," Cotton said. "You'll do this for your wife, is that right?"
"Everything I have ever done," Balthazar said.
"I admire you," Cotton said.
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